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Got Mojo? 6 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

March 2, 2014
John Tsilimparis

These six tips are "sustainable" forms of powering your self-confidence. If you use them on a daily basis, you can be your own natural resource.

1) Avoid comparing yourself to others.

The old adage still holds true: "When you compare, you despair." Comparing yourself to others is a landmine, because everyone and every circumstance is different. Comparisons to others about any aspect of your life is like equating apples to oranges. No one is like YOU, and you are NOT like anybody else. Plus, if you base your self-esteem on how well you measure up against your peers, it will never end. Because in your mind, you will ALWAYS find someone out there that is better.

2) Don't personalize mistakes.

A mistake is an occurrence, not a person. Hence, people are NOT mistakes, but we do occasionally make mistakes. Don't turn a mistake like making an error at work or losing a personal belonging into a reflection of who you are. Also, don't turn it into a running commentary on your self-worth as a human being. Get comfortable with the fact that making mistakes is part of a learning process which never ends no matter how old you are.

3) Don't be so preoccupied with what others think of you.

The people who you think are criticizing you or sizing you up are probably not paying attention at all and are busy with their own lives. Don't be so pompous in thinking that your faults are that important or that interesting to others. Remember, there's good news and bad news about worrying what other people think of you:

The good news is: Most people don't really give a hoot about you. The bad news is: Most people don't really give a hoot about you.

4) Resist labeling.

Don't label people with hasty character profiling like, "He is an idiot," or "she is a selfish person" or "they are low class." Chances are that if you are labeling people around you all the time, you are probably doing it to yourself too. Ultimately, how you view yourself is how you view your world. Your opinion of yourself is in a sense a microcosm of your environment. So, take the label off the table.

5) Avoid mind reading.

You don't have special powers to read people's minds. And give up the hope that you ever will, too. Mind reading can send you down a dangerous path of worry and fearful conjecture for no reason at all. The time you expend recklessly trying to figure out what others are thinking could be spent positively focusing on yourself. You are not a mentalist or the amazing Kreskin. So, give it up.

6) Become aware of your "blind spots."

Be your own therapist and notice the patterns of emotional reactivity in your life. Learn where your "blind spots" are. When triggered, resist the urge to act immediately. Be an observer of your thoughts instead of being reactionary. Think your actions through first. You'll have fewer regrets later.

Do you have other tricks and tips you use to boost your self-confidence? Share in the comments below!