Being single and dating may sound exciting and new for married folks, but it can be very taxing for those who are in that world. A recent post by relationship expert Ian Kerner PhD evaluates the toll dating takes on many people.
After a night out you worry whether or not the person had fun and if he or she will call. The waiting is painful.
“We live in a culture of instant gratification and high-speed delights. We don’t like to wait, whether it’s for a cup of coffee or our one true soul mate,” Kerner says.
If you don’t get that confirmation from one person you feel the need to get back out there and date more. Pretty soon you’re going on five dates a week and the same thing happens after each date. “Will he or she call?”, “Did they have fun?” These questions can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. What is fun about that?
If you find that going on consecutive dates is tiring, stressful and anxiety-provoking it might be worth taking a step back. As you might go on a food detox, try a dating detox. Spend more time with relatives or friends or put the same efforts from dating into a new hobby or skill. Take time cultivating those relationships that support your individual needs. And after a month or two, check-in with yourself and see how you feel. You might just feel refreshed enough to get back out there.