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The 5 Dating Myths That Are Keeping You From Finding Love

February 24, 2014
Lisa Copeland

Myth 1. The love of your life has to be your best friend.

Let's get this straight right now. A man is not going to be your best friend. If he's emotionally healthy, he is happy to be your greatest protector and he will willingly fix anything for you when he can. But he's not going to get involved in long conversations about things he has no interest in.

When you start telling an involved complicated story about your friends and their families, a man can't keep track of the point you are trying to make. Unless it's about you and taking care of you, his eyes will glaze after about five minutes.

This is why it's so important to have girlfriends who will happily process any story with you over a good martini or a glass of wine.

Myth 2. You'll just know he's "the one" when you meet him.

I hate to burst your bubble, but this rarely happens.

Yes, you'll hear stories shared by women who have said they just knew when they met their husband that he was the one. What you don't hear are all the stories about women who thought they'd found the one but it turns out they hadn't.

Thanks to Hollywood, it's easy for you to get caught up in the fantasy and romance part of dating; the eyes meeting across a crowded room scenarios. Yet the core of attraction between a man and a woman is actually nothing more than a chemical reaction the two of you share in each other's presence.

Men must feel an attraction to you immediately but you don't have to feel an immediate attraction to him. Women have the ability to feel attraction over time once they get to know a man's personality and behaviors.

This is why it's important to give nice men a chance. You could be overlooking one of the good ones because you didn't feel that initial attraction.

Myth 3. You're his girlfriend after three dates.

The way you know you're a man's girlfriend is from the way he introduces you to his friends. If he says, "This is my friend, Julie." Guess what? That's exactly who you are in his mind.

On the other hand, if he says, "This is my girlfriend, Julie," then you know this is how he views you.

Always carefully listen to a man's words because men are very good at saying exactly what they mean.

Myth 4. Men love the makeovers you give them.

I speak with a lot of men and one of their biggest pet peeves is how women are always trying to change them, whether it's the clothes they wear, the food they eat or how they do their job.

One of the best things about emotionally healthy men is they love you exactly for who you are. They won't try and change you, so don't try and change them.

If you don't like who a man is then let him go and move on to a man you do like. Some men will let you redress them over time. Just don't try and do it on the first or the fifth date.

Myth 5. He loves when you define what you want him to do for you in your online profile.

Men are always amazed at the demands women put in their profiles about the money their man must make or the places he has to take you to get a date with you.

This is a huge turn off to men, just like it would be for you if you saw demands about women's weight or hairstyle in a man's profile. Men don't like being told what to do by the women they know, much less by women they have never met.

Leave your demands out of your profile and instead write a profile that makes you seem like a fun woman to get to know.

I'd love to hear what you think of these myths in the comments. Do you disagree with any of them? Are there other myths in mature dating?