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6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

September 26, 2013

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A relationship with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife should be supportive and comfortable. Your partner is the one that you can be yourself with and who constantly encourages you to grow and become a better person.

However, I know first hand that not all relationships are like this. A toxic relationship can take up all of your energy and cause you to lose sight of your true self. If your relationship is starting to feel like more work than fun, or if any of these signs ring true for you, then it may be time to rethink the relationship and start putting your needs first.

  1. You can’t be yourself when you are with them. It’s so important that you are completely comfortable and able to be yourself with your significant other. This is the person that you are committing to spending a lot of your time with and if you have to pretend to be someone you aren’t, or you have to stop doing things that you love to do, then you aren’t being true to yourself. You may lose sight of what you want and need from the relationship.
  2. Your friends and family don’t support the relationship. Your friends and family likely have your best interests in mind. If they see you suffering or not being treated the way that you should be, then they won’t be supportive of your relationship. I’ve had many conversations with friends who have been stuck in a toxic relationship and a question we always ask each other is, “If you got married, would anyone want to come to the wedding?” If you think the answer is no, then it might be time to rethink the relationship.
  3. Text messages are your primary form of communication. Having open and easy communication is the key to a successful relationship. I notice that when a relationship is toxic, and it’s sucking out a lot of my energy, there are usually a lot of text messages going back and forth between me and that person. Not only are text messages easier to misconstrue, people tend to say more hurtful things. In a healthy relationship, important conversations are had face to face.
  4. It’s all about them, never about you. A relationship should be equal parts give and take. If you constantly feel like you are doing nice things or rearranging your schedule for your partner, but you aren’t getting the same respect and attention back, then you may want to rethink the reasons why you are in the relationship. What you are actually getting from this person?
  5. Life is more challenging when you’re with this person. Spending time with your significant other should be fun, and relaxing. When the thought of spending time with them is exhausting, then it may mean that you are putting too much energy into trying to make the relationship work.
  6. You feel stuck and unable to grow. A healthy relationship should be between two people who support each other to reach their goals and encourage each other to take on new opportunities. If you feel like your partner is inhibiting your ability to grow as a person and try new things, then your relationship might be holding you back from achieving your goals.

Working to change a toxic relationship, or ending it entirely, can be very hard. It’s so important to look at the big picture. What will your life look like if you decide to stay in your current situation? Just remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and you should be with someone that wants to see you succeed and reach your goals. 

Have you had experience with a toxic relationship?